Posted by Chloe Pearce On 08 March 2011 at 2:23 PM
Nexus had the pleasure of getting some face time with renowned US sexologist Dr Dick, who kindly answered some of our most burning (in a good way!) questions...

Hey Dr Dick, you look like a rather wholesome gentleman, what prompted you to become a Sexologist?

Wholesome? Looks are so deceiving, aren’t they?!

I came to this work in a most unorthodox fashion. It is certainly not something I ever aspired to do. I was ordained in 1975 as a Catholic priest and then in 1981 I completed my post-graduate degree with the publication of my doctoral thesis, which concerned the sexual attitudes and behaviours of gay Catholic priests in the active ministry. This did not go down well with the Vatican, and as such I am the only Catholic priest in the world with a doctorate in Clinical Sexology.

What are the most common issues you come across during your workshops and counselling?

I continue to be surprised by how few people actually realise that there is an essential goodness to sexuality, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. I see so much unhappiness and anxiety when a person’s sex-negative attitudes alienate them from their own body and the bodies of others. These uninformed attitudes affect not only a person’s sex life, but also his/her ability to relate well with others.

My workshops and counselling practice aim to provide information and guidance to help people approach their unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner, as well as further their independent growth, personal integrity, and have a more joyful experience of living.

As you know, we are all about the male G-Spot (or P-Spot) here at Nexus. For those who are new to the delights of prostate massage, can you offer any advice and tips?

• First cut and file your fingernails so that they are short and smooth.

• Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to help you do that.

• Have a ready supply of a water-based or silicone-based lube handy.

• Start with a nice hand job. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand to get yourself into your happy place.

• Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint (perineum). While your legs are open gently massage the area around your asshole, but don't slide your finger in just yet. The aim is for you to get used to the feelings associated with anal play.

• Next, let the tip of your middle finger enter your ass. If you do this while you're stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another!

• Once you’re comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Then try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass in a thrusting motion.

• Once your finger is about an inch or so inside your ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the upper wall of your rectum. You'll discover a firm, round and flat surface the size of a walnut. This is your prostate. You can only feel this small part of the whole gland, but you will know it when you touch it!

• Remember, your prostate shouldn't be hard to find, particularly if you’re all horned up from pullin’ your pud. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.

• Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you're still stroking your cock, don't be surprised if this prostate massage gets you off. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes firmer just as you are about to shoot your load!

Is there a difference between a prostate orgasm and a penile orgasm?

Technically, I suppose there is.

Clearly some do get off on prostate stimulation alone. However, an orgasm (not the same thing as an ejaculation, mind you) is a complex physiological — muscular and neurological — response. Just like our genitals are a composite of parts that work together to bring us joy; so too are our orgasms.

Finding and massaging your prostate is a wonderful thing. But there’s one thing for certain; your prostate has been involved in your orgasmic response from the very beginning, long before you discovered it.

Are there any other benefits to prostate stimulation?

Yeah, you betcha! It’s fun, it’s healthful and it’s sexually enriching.

Massaging your prostate stimulates blood flow and that brings more oxygen to your prostate. Unwanted bacteria that grow in your prostate can be removed more efficiently through massage. Fat and proteins can also accumulate over time, which can cause infection or even lead to tumour growth if not flushed from time to time. Massaging your prostate can assist in this.

Studies show that a prostate massage is an effective means of keeping your prostate healthy without the use of pharmaceuticals or resorting to surgery. And of course it also helps a guy become less cock-centric and less ass-phobic. So it’s a win/win situation!

Finally, do you have any wise words for our prostate loving readers?

Once you’ve discovered the joys of prostate stimulation on your own, why not invite your partner(s) to join in the fun. And always use quality toys. Choose nonporous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free materials. Waterproof toys are also highly recommended. Because keeping your toys clean and sanitized is a real big part of enjoying your or someone else’s prostate.

Many thanks to Dr Dick for answering our questions, you can find more of his wise words, toy reviews and advice at

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